Rev-1: June 21, 2010

Recently, I wrote an article about the seven points of inflection through one’s career lifecycle (my May 20th Blog).  As a career coach I often get asked if I also mentor my clients. When I ask them to explain what that means, the most common answer I get is a bit curious: “I have been told and I read often that for one to advance their career they must have a mentor. I never had one, so would you be my mentor, please?”

This article is about my perspective on the various resources that are available as one navigates through different phases of their career and what role a mentor can play in one’s career. This article is also about other types of help available and what their roles are in different parts of one’s career.

So, when someone approaches me to be their mentor, in response, I ask them what particular challenge they are facing in their career. What I get, in turn, is typically their immediate challenge to overcome a particular career obstacle, such as getting that next promotion or getting that assignment that will make their résumé bloom. What they fail to realize is that although a mentor can provide that guidance, a career coach can be much more effective in providing that immediate answer that is actionable. A mentor may be able to provide some guidance, but is not always expected to give them an action plan that will take them there. Although I provide both sets of expertise, I want my clients to be clear about the kind of help that is appropriate for their specific needs.

One factor that is critical to a better understanding of a mutual relationship is that a mentor-mentee bond must be built over time with their interactions typically less transactional than they would be with their career coach. Mentors have the knowledge and the wisdom to understand and to deal with their mentee’s situation, but they often lack the delivery skill and the process that make their knowledge and wisdom actionable in ways that the mentee can benefit. Without that express skill and the mentee’s savvy to internalize that guidance in a specific situation, the advice, applied in a misguided way can backfire; mentees often lack the skills to translate the inputs they get from the mentor to make them usable in an effective way. They need more hand holding than that is available in a typical mentor-mentee relationship. So, if you have a burning career issue and you need quick guidance, a career coach, not a mentor, is your best option.

As I reflect on my initial conversations with my prospects and my clients, I am compelled to ponder the basic question: How many people really know the difference between the various resources that are available to career professionals in advancing their career and in getting the right guidance?

There are five different resources that can guide a person through their life/career needs: therapist, career counselor, career coach, life coach, and mentor. Although there can be considerable overlap in different resources, their mainstay function is what is relevant in seeking the right help. So, each one has a unique role in how they can help:

Therapist: A therapist is a licensed professional, who is most effective when one is stuck in their past. If we are looking at two categories of people, one dysfunctional and the other, functional, then a therapist can help a dysfunctional person become whole with therapy. Sometimes, the dysfunction does not always come from unresolved issues, but it is a dysfunction stemming from lack of basic skills. In such a case some basic training and education can be a good start. Therapy has mostly to do with unresolved issues that a person is not able to get past and move ahead as a fully functional being. So, if what happened in your past life remains unresolved and you must move past that, a therapist can be the right person. Seeing a career coach without seeing a therapist in some cases can be counterproductive, even harmful. So, to summarize, a therapist can help you with your Yesterday!

Career counselor: A career counselor is a degreed professional (a degree in career counseling, often followed by a license or a state certificate) who helps their clients in career selection. Typically, high-school or college students meet a career counselor, where they go through a battery of standard tests to help the counselor understand their aptitudes and learning preferences in how they can apply their knowledge and skills in a given profession. This is, of course, not an exact science, so a counselor’s assessment cannot be taken as a definitive guidance in choosing a lifelong career. You must insert your own judgment into the process to make this useful. Career counselors deal with the “here and now.” They usually cannot predict how a given profession is going to continue over a person’s life span, nor can they predict how economic forces will morph the need for that profession.

The US Department of Labor publishes its Occupational Outlook Handbook that compiles projections of different job categories and their future landscape and their earning potential, including demand/supply projections over time. Working with a career counselor, reading the OOH, and then talking to a few professionals engaged in the career of your interest can be a good combination for gathering useful information for you to decide how to move forward. The final choice must be yours and not anyone else’s, including those of your parents and relatives!

In other countries resources available to understand similar projections are unknown to me, so if any of my international readers are willing to share what they know I’d be happy to include that in the blog. Please use the Comments section to provide that input.

Career Coach: In general coaching refers to the activity of a coach in developing the abilities of their clients. Metaphorically, a coach takes their client from where they are now to their desired destination (a carriage or a horse-drawn coach is just that!), including a short jaunt. Coaching tends to focus on the achievement by clients of a goal or a specific skill. Methodologies for coaching are positioned away from the directive or the facilitative and rest on accompanying clients within a dialog that will allow emerging patterns and solutions to surface. If the coach also has the expertise needed to analyze the different possibilities the client uncovers as they dialog, the coaching process can be even more effective in guiding the client to a specific course of action by their avoiding trial and error. Coaching belongs on the scale between mentoring and training on the one end, and psychotherapy and counseling on the other.

There are many applications of coaching ranging from sport, to business, to niches such as divorce or motivational speaking. Sessions may be either one-on-one or in a group setting, in-person, or over the telephone, or by electronic means.

Today, coaching is a recognized discipline used by many professionals engaged in human development focused on achieving results. Although there are certifications in specific areas of coaching by accredited institutions, most coaching professionals operate in an unregulated environment.

Career coaching is one aspect of this profession to be discussed in this article.

A career coach is an experienced professional, who has the pulse of the current job market and who understands how to work with a client and translate what they need to change to move in the right direction with minimum trial and error. A career coach can provide valuable guidance during a career transition (as from a job loss), navigating through one’s career challenges (stuck career, dealing with a bad boss, etc), and selecting a right course of action when there are alternate choices that are confusing. Although some career coaches provide assessments and show clients what their options might be in moving forward, sessions that result from using such tools are usually not valuable to the client in decisively moving forward. They are also often a waste of time and money! A good career coach is quickly able to grasp your immediate career challenge and to provide help to move ahead with confidence. In summary, a career coach helps you with your Today!

Mentor: A mentor is an accomplished professional who has interest in sharing their wisdom gained from their years of experience in dealing with situations in both their personal and professional lives. Good mentors also have a broad view of how to deal with personal and professional challenges and can guide their mentees (although mentee is the preferred term, an alternate term is protégé) in navigating through some of these challenges. Mentors often lack the detailed knowledge of how their mentees can use what they are recommending or suggesting so that the mentees can utilize their wisdom in advancing their career or in solving a particular problem they are dealing with. One reason for this limitation is that a typical mentor has just one or two mentees that they are helping at any time.

A career coach, on the other hand, has a much richer experience with different clients (often, thousands) to know what specific action plans can work in each situation. Because a career coach’s effectiveness lies in how they codify their varied experience with many clients in formulating an action plan for their clients and then delivering it in a customized way, they often spend much time and effort in making their knowledge and practice principles easy to understand and implement for their clients. A mentor does not always share this obligation.

So, although a mentor brings rich knowledge in the mentor-mentee relationship, it is up to the mentee to translate that exchange into terms that become actionable and useful in the mentee’s context. This is not always easy because mentees lack the experience that the mentors have in making the advice practicable. In most cases, a mentee is operating in their state of “unconscious incompetence,”(they do not know what they don’t  know) so, when their mentor suggests a course of action that is obvious, for the mentee making that workable can be a challenge.   Yet, despite this ostensible limitation mentors are good at showing long-term vision to their mentees and in giving guidance about how to deal with some of the challenges that they are likely to encounter in the future. In summary, a mentor helps with your Tomorrow!

It is important to appreciate the differences between instructing, coaching, and mentoring. Instructing deals largely with the dissemination of knowledge. While coaching deals primarily with skill building, a mentor is one who helps shape the outlook or attitude of the individual for a better tomorrow! A mentor often inspires with new possibilities, whereas a career coach can show you how to seize the ones that appeal to you the most. If you carry the previous metaphor of the coach as a physical carriage, then the mentor illuminates the path that you are using to go where the coach is taking you! Mentoring is thus providing a lighted path to the mentee for their future success. A coach would help out with work and career related issues, providing specific tools and guidance to help their client navigate through today’s challenges. A mentor, on the other hand, would focus on issues pertaining to career and life, mostly helping their mentee avoid some of the obstacles that the mentor has conquered or has recognized as their own learning evolved. Mentoring can also potentially promote spiritual development, without injecting their personal religious beliefs.

There are two main mentoring relationships: formal and informal. Informal relationships develop on their own between partners. Formal mentoring, on the other hand, refers to a structured process supported by the organization and addressed to target audiences. Youth mentoring programs assist at-risk children or youth who lack role models and sponsors. In business, formal mentoring is part of talent management addressed to populations such as key employees, newly hired graduates, high potentials, and future leaders (this is where the appropriate noun is protégé). In formal mentoring, matching of mentor and mentee is done by each choosing the partner in order to avoid creating a forced and inauthentic relationship.

There are formal mentoring programs that are values-oriented, while social mentoring and other types can also focus specifically on career development. Some mentorship programs provide both social and vocational support. In well-designed formal mentoring programs, there are program goals, schedules, training (for both mentors and mentees), and evaluation.

There are many kinds of mentoring relationships from school or community-based relationships to e-mentoring relationships. These mentoring relationships vary and can be influenced by the type of mentoring relationship that is in effect. Mentoring relationships can develop under a cloning model, nurturing model, friendship model, and apprenticeship model. The cloning model is about the mentor trying to “produce their duplicate copy.” The nurturing model takes more of a parent figure, creating a safe, open environment in which mentee can both learn and try things for on their own. The friendship model is more based on a peer relationship rather than being involved in a hierarchical relationship. Lastly, the apprenticeship model is about less personal or social aspects and the professional relationship is the sole focus (here, again, the correct usage is protégé).

It is not unusual for one professional to have several mentors at any given time. Each relationship provides specific guidance (career advancement, professional expertise, general counsel, and just wisdom from having lived a varied and rich life!). It is, however, rare for one to have more than one career coach at the same time.

Life Coach: Life coaching is a practice with the aim of helping clients determine and achieve personal goals (these may not include career or professional goals). Life coaches select from among several methods to help clients set and reach personal goals. Life coaches are neither therapists nor consultants; psychological intervention and business analysis are outside the scope of their engagement. Life coaching has its roots in executive coaching, which drew on techniques developed in leadership training. Often, a Life Coach is a cheerleader, inspiring their clients with frequent doses of motivation to keep their spirits up and to keep their focus on the goal at hand. The coach may apply mentoring, values assessment, behavior modification, behavior modeling, goal setting, and other techniques, including the use of their own tools that they have developed as a repertoire in their profession, in helping their clients. Since life coaching can be viewed as an intervention sought to improve quality of life and for increasing the effectiveness of available resources to the client, it is also seen as something that helps their client in their today for a better tomorrow! More importantly, a good life-coaching intervention can take a person to higher levels of personal actualization than is possible on their own.

Good help, as one needs it in different phases of their life and career, is difficult to get. But, having the clarity on the type of help one most needs can be a good start in avoiding the ones that are less likely to be useful and a waste of time and money!

Looking for a job is tough even when times are good. In a deteriorating economy it provides new challenges. But, then it also provides you new ways to differentiate yourself and stand out from the crowd. As a career coach I repeatedly encounter some behaviors that get in the way of clients being seen favorably by those who encounter them. Here, I am not talking about your job knowledge or your ability to overcome adverse chemistry with the hiring manager, but I am talking about many simple things that can make you stand out from the crowd. Here is a list:

1. Always write a great cover letter in response to all “A” jobs that you want to pursue.
2. Send your response in the required manner (Website, email, or whatever they have stated in the job posting) and, in addition, send it by some differentiated way to the hiring manager (US Mail, FedEx). You can even have it forwarded to the hiring manager internally through someone you know.
3. Follow-up after a week and remind the hiring manager of the way you had delivered the response (“My package had a picture of the Statue of Liberty on top”). It is a memory jogger!
4. When you send an email (to anyone) make sure that you completely identify yourself. It is best to have your complete name, email address in parenthesis next to your name, phone number, and even a clever tagline that defines you! This way if the recipient wants to call you right after they get your email they can simply pick up the phone and contact you. Even as a career coach I get over 300-plus emails every day. The ones I respond immediately are the ones with all these parameters I just listed. Others, I wait until I have time to look up who they are and their contact information. Hiring managers receive much more traffic because their regular job is not just to hire people! Make it easy for them to contact you
5. Make sure that you have a personal greeting on your voice mail. Most have their mobile devices as their primary contact point. Most of these devices, too, come with a generic greeting identifying just the telephone number and nothing else, in a robot-like voice. Take the time to record your own personal greeting in your own voice and completely identify yourself. I cannot even tell you how many times when I call a telephone number that I get this generic greeting, leaving me to wonder if reached the right person or I simply misdialed. Not doing this makes you look lazy; not a good thing!
6. When you have the first phone (or subsequent) interview try using the land line. Mobile connections are notoriously unreliable and you may lose key parts of your conversation with the interviewer. Even portable or cordless phones are not a good choice because they are noisy and can dropout when the power is out.
7. Always send a thank you note after each interview (even phone). The note should also have some additional points about the interview to fortify your position.
8. For important interviews send thank you notes by Mail. This is so rare that people will remember you, just for that!
9. Do not leave an interview without knowing what the next steps are and holding that person accountable. “So, if I do not hear from you on Monday, I plan to call you on Tuesday. What is a good time?”
10. Be positive, enthusiastic, and cheerful during each encounter. Even on the phone it is easy to “read” a person’s mood on the other end.

It is not that difficult to incorporate all of these habits into your life! Try them all and see how much difference it makes in how people respond to you!

Good luck!

“You don’t know how far you can you until you go too far”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most professionals believe that their manager has the responsibility for advancing their career! In fact some are under the illusion that their managers often lie awake at night wondering about how to promote their employees’ careers and how to make worth their while!

Nothing could be further from the truth!

Most employees (about 80% of them!) let their careers “happen” to them. This attitude of surrender or resignation occurs early in life. Their parents tell them what they should pursue; their neighbors influence them to think about what they missed out on; their professors inveigle them to pursue an exciting research idea, and so on. As a result many undertake a path in their careers which might be different if they had spent some time contemplating about how to pick the right path and what really excited them.

It is often true that early in life such insight may be difficult to get. Those who are lucky enough to have such insights and have the conviction of their beliefs about what they want to do when they grow up often make their dream a reality by their perseverance and by their hard work. But, what about the remaining 80% who resign themselves to be led in their careers by their fate, their destiny, and the vagaries of those in the immediate clutch of others?

It is not as hopeless as it may sound. Why? Opportunities abound at any time and many are there just for the asking. The fact is that most do not feel compelled to see the opportunity that is not manifest, take some risk, and follow their own will to own it. In any organization there are many opportunities that lay dormant because no one either sees them or that they do not have the courage to take their ownership to lead them to fruition. Most wait for their managers to present just one such opportunity as a gift as they await its arrival! With this approach you are controlled by the politics of the place, organizational vagaries, and managing your perception at levels that matter.

Managing perception is one of most challenging factors in one’s career. This includes not just merely doing great work, which is a prerequisite to moving ahead, but also how others perceive what you have done and are doing. Most assume that if they do good, honest work, people around them will take notice and remember their contributions. Alas, it does not always work this way in organizations, where people foist their agendas and cut down others who get in their way. Managing perception entails managing upwards and downward how other perceive what you do. This takes work and diligent effort.

Much of this can be trumped if you seize a compelling opportunity, make a case for it in the right circles, and show leadership in how you can shepherd it to take the organization in a different or new direction. Such initiative, regardless of its ultimate success, can propel a career to far greater heights more quickly than the endless politicking, posturing, perception managing, and making yourself visible.

So, to summarize my mantra for career advancement, the following list may help the self-initiated put their career in high gear:

1. Identify what your next career stop is and find out what requirements must be met to claim that position. Proactively ask for assignments that provide you the opportunity for these skills.
2. Prepare your resume ahead of time for the promotion you are seeking and find out how you can get such assignments under your belt. Don’t wait; ask!
3. Uncover what is not happening and what the customer is experiencing. Do not wait for marketing or for the results of the latest survey to glean this information. Go out and talk to the customers, even though you may be someone far removed from such experiences.
4. Propose a project or an initiative that will bring about the right change and transform the customer experience. Lead the effort, and, when completed, send out an announcement stating what you have achieved.
5. Collaborate with upper management and work with those around you to flesh out what needs to be done that will change the status quo.
6. Team up with others and see their help in improving things and give them credit for their initiative and help.
7. Check your own market value by updating your resume and responding to jobs that are a step up
8. Attend shows, conferences, and trade events to make yourself visible. Promote your brand relentlessly.
9. Work on a time table for your advancement and let your boss know what you are seeking. It is amazing that simply stating what you desire and working towards it can get you what you are after.
10. Help those below you to advance as you want to be helped in your own advancement. The law of good karma works universally!

Career advancement is NOT a mystery. You can drive your own career to destinations that you choose!

Good luck!

When we were growing-up your intelligence (IQ) was your main asset: Your parents touted you for how much smarter you were than your siblings, in spite of the fact that this invidious comparison rubbed your siblings the wrong way and that they resented you for it; in school you were the first to raise your hand when the teacher threw a curveball question to the kids. This sense of superiority about yourself lasts as long as the role the IQ plays in what you do counts more than anything else. School work and getting your degree with top grades directly relate to your IQ scores. In fact, the correlation between high IQ and good grades is over 95%!

But, wait! What happens to these Mensa kids after they enter their careers and start earning a living based on their natural gift? Studies have shown that despite the high correlation between IQ and grades the correlation between IQ and success or even achievement is much lower—20%!

Why is that?

As you come in contact with the realities of living, other “Intelligences” increasingly play a greater role in your success. There are five different intelligences that go in shaping a person’s ability to deal with life’s challenges:

1. Raw Intelligence (IQ)
2. Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
3. Political Intelligence (PQ)
4. Cultural Intelligence (CQ)
5. Contextual Intelligence (XQ)

In the scheme of things each factor contributes about equally to how we successfully deal with our own challenges. Now it is easy to see why the correlation between success in life and your IQ is about 20%!

Let’s briefly discuss each one.

1. Raw Intelligence (IQ): This is our divine—natural—gift and we are born with it. No amount of efforts you expend after your birth will help you improve your IQ. This is why it is so much harder to compete with anyone in matters that require superior intellect, no matter how hard you try. Academic and analytic problems need application of raw intelligence to their resolution. This is why highly intelligent and gifted individuals migrate to academia.

2. Emotional Intelligence (EQ): This intelligence is a nurtured quality. It has to do with how you relate to other human beings, not things (as IQ does). EQ itself has five components: Awareness of self, Self control, Motivation, Empathy, and Communication. Each of these attributes can be learned in dealing with others. Since success in life depends on your ability to getting things done through others EQ become increasingly an important factor in your success as you start relaying on cooperation from others for your achievements. This is not the case in school, where you alone could do the test or your homework using your raw intelligence.

3. Political Intelligence (PQ): This element is driven by how “politic” you are in dealing with others and in protecting their agendas. Politic means shrewd; if you show shrewdness in managing, contriving, or dealing with matters on hand when teaming with others you have high PQ. In the corporate world PQ plays a major role in how you move in the right circles.

4. Cultural Intelligence (CQ): This intelligence comes from being aware of how different cultures and those who come from them deal with each other with other cultures. In the increasingly global economy high cultural intelligence has become a main requirement for business success. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell cites stories of planes crashing because the crew did not have enough understanding of cultural differences between how the language exchange took place between the pilot and the control tower and among the crew members themselves.

5. Contextual Intelligence (XQ): Contextual Intelligence is an integrating quality that prompts you to know which intelligence is germane in what situation. XQ allows you to use the right “intelligence” in a given situation to create the desired outcome. It is often context-based and is a learned skill, as are the preceding four counterparts.

Now that you know the relative importance of IQ in dealing with your life’s challenges I hope that you ease up on yourself because of your moderate IQ and focus on working on the other four to get to where you want to go!

Good luck!

“How you leave a job can say more about you than all the work you ever did–particularly if leave badly.”–A CTO

Few people realize that there comes a time in their job when work is no longer fun, but a drag. Sometimes, this happens suddenly, when they get a new boss who does not like them, or that working conditions suddenly change due to a variety of reasons. In most cases, though, reaching this state of no fun happens over time for most and that is why most even do not recognize it. Their pent-up stress eventually become unbearable.

The following list of warning signs is a good check to assess if you are ready to make a transition to a different job (inside or out):

1. You do not get energized to go to work on Mondays. Mondays are good barometers of how much you like your job. If you dread going to work on Mondays this is a good sign that you have run the course with your job and that you must move on or make a change. Yet another symptom: once the week gets going, you cannot wait for the weekend and you start planning for that from the first day of the week. Mondays, especially seem to drag on, right from the first hour on the job. For some, this feeling is not just limited to Mondays but every day that they have to go to work. Many seek respite by frequent visits to the restroom, reading material in their hands! Some even take up smoking so that they get to go out to have a puff or two, away from their desk.
2. You have a lot on your mind, just not work. The work doesn’t challenge you and time hangs. In meetings you day dream and do not participate. You dread going to meetings to which you are invited and wonder about those where you are not.
3. In meetings your inputs get ignored. This is another sign that you are no longer an important part of the team. Even if you suggest something great, it is looked upon with furrowed brow, ignored, or worse, attributed to someone else for credit a bit later.
4. You do not get important memos/emails. This is yet another sign that you are on your way out—or should be—and that your existence is tantamount to that of a “parasite.”
5. You get no-win assignments. If you see yourself being set up for a series of no-win assignments, then you can assume that your boss is setting you up for a “special review” that documents how you have flubbed a series of assignments in a row.
6. Nearly completed assignments get yanked. You are about to complete an important project. The project is a bit late for no fault of yours and your boss knows that. Just before you are about to put the final piece of the puzzle in place to complete the project, your boss yanks you from the project and gives it to someone else, who then finishes “on schedule,” taking full credit for it.
7. Someone more junior acts as the boss’s proxy. Someone you regarded as your junior will bring a message from the boss telling you to do something on their behalf.
8. Things change, not to your advantage. The boss you got along with so well leaves, or worse, takes on a new favorite employee. Eventually, that person gets layered in above you on the corporate ladder, intercepting your access to the boss, taking over plum projects and moving you out of the decision-making loop. The change is subtle at first, but your loss of status compounds over time.Yet another unmistakable sign that you are superfluous is that when your company merges or acquires other companies, those less experienced than you, come to your organization with titles higher than yours.
9. Your boss takes you for granted. You do something well and you get pigeonholed as the company expert in that area. Or you’re no longer seen as having potential for new projects. Or, just as bad, you’re known as the good corporate citizen who’ll do whatever you’re asked – including relocating multiple times. Another unmistakable sign of your redundancy is that your boss does not include you on a committee that is set up to review something in your area of expertise. When you confront them, a typical rationalization is “I did not want to distract you from what you were doing.”
10. You pigeonhole yourself. Some top performers stay at their jobs because they don’t believe they could succeed elsewhere. The longer you’re at a place, the more you think that success depends on your environment, or you lose confidence that you can do anything else. This is particularly true of senior professionals in their mid 40s who are otherwise ready for a promotion (Director, VP)
11. Your mood ranges from angry to angrier. No matter how well-regarded your work is, or once was, if you develop a reputation as a querulous crank, colleagues will distance themselves. And that isolation can make you more vulnerable in a layoff.
12. You feel like hell. Unhappiness can undermine your health. Early signs of excess stress: stomachaches, headaches and insomnia.
13. Everyone looks like they’re having fun. You sulk and isolate yourself because no one comes to you for advice.

Hiring may be sparse in your field. You may be supporting a family and need the money—to say nothing of the health insurance. You only have a few years before fully vesting in your stock options. Or you’re retiring in less than 15 years and want to maximize the pension you get.

If that’s the case and you plan to stay, do more than just sucking it up.

Don’t see yourself as a wage slave. See your job as a funding source for what you want to do next. Do what’s required and do it as quickly as you can, then network with those who can give you the growth you need for the next job.

And try to develop new skills that will serve you well when you do leave.

Because the trouble with waiting–to vest, to retire, to get promoted–is that it doesn’t always pay off. There’s nothing stopping employers from letting you go five minutes before you reach your goal. And the terms of your exit will be theirs, not yours.

Sticky Wickets

In any working environment it is not uncommon to encounter situations where important relationships are compromised and you become vulnerable. Your dream job becomes your nightmare and you are suddenly exposed to the threat of termination or that you can no longer perform effectively or in a dignified manner. Let’s look at some typical circumstances where such a possibility can arise:

1. The CEO or someone in the chain of command assigns their family member (child, wife, brother/sister) to work under you; the person does not deliver and they do their own thing.
2. An important customer inveigles the CEO to hire one of their family members reporting to you
3. Your boss hits on you
4. Your colleagues/associates hit on you
5. Your colleagues/associates make ongoing attempts to hijack your project
6. Your initiative that has helped the company in a major way is hijacked away from you; you are “reassigned.”
7. Your colleagues treat you in a demeaning way
8. You have a fleeting affair with your boss or someone in the direct chain of command
9. You catch a higher-up in a compromising situation (fraud, sexual encounter)
10. You see shenanigans going on that is hurting the company
11. Your boss (or someone higher up) is engaged in a repugnant–even illegal–activity

Although this is not an inclusive list of misfortunes that can cross your career path or even derail your plans, if not your career, they are representative of today’s workplace. They, actually, go back to prehistoric times as their existence stems from the basic human condition. The incidence of aberrant behaviors in the corporate world is no different than what you’d see in the world as a whole. If you are morally centered and have a good sense of balance between “right” and “wrong,” you will be outraged by such encounters. Somehow, people think that inside the walls of the corporate world, you should be insulated from anything aberrant. But, when you see this within the confines of the hallowed walls of your own company, all your enthusiasm about your work and about making a difference will be sucked out from you and you may find it difficult getting up and going to work.

This, however, is an emotional reaction to what is happening and the best strategy is to drain the emotion and to deal with it rationally–a very difficult thing to do when you are in the middle of an experience. The following suggestions my help in moving ahead:

1. Do not react in ways that can put you at a disadvantage as far as how others perceive you in your reaction to what has happened to you. You have witnessed what happened to you first hand, but others are merely a party to your reaction to it. Your emotional reaction alone may vitiate the injustice and the outrage you feel. You must keep it bottled up and deal with it in a coolly calculated and rational way. An indignant or even hysterical response may seem appropriate, but it can diminish your power to pursue the correct course of action. Often, as time passes, people merely remember only the affect of your hysteria; the event that triggered it may by undermined by it.
2. Before going to someone within your own organization and giving them an earful, be mindful that everyone has their own agenda. Someone may use this opportunity to further their own agenda by making your situation worse for you. Even if they act with an altruistic motive to help, you do not know how they are going to do it and how that is going to affect your situation. In an emotionally charged situation what is said and what is communicated are often in disagreement.
3. Talk it over immediately with someone you trust–preferably from the outside–so that you can get an objective assessment of what is happening. Be truthful so that you can get an honest assessment of what is happening. Do not embellish or hide parts of what you did if they were less than honorable.
4. If you are going to react to an episode in a continuing saga, pick your battles and use your judgment to take appropriate action. Do not cry wolf!
5. If the person causing you grief is a peer or is at a level below you, dealing with them is easier. Either go to them directly, their immediate superior, or to the HR representative.
6. Some companies have ombudsman function that is assigned to a high-level executive, often off-site. If you trust this process, make an appointment. It is not uncommon, though, to not have the kind of secrecy or even privacy you expect from such meetings. After all, everyone is somehow connected in a company.
7. If you assess that you are fighting an uphill battle, chose a path that allows you to stay for a while, but make your résumé and start looking outside.
8. While you are there, placate those who can help you — especially if they happen to be your boss or superior — and pretend like nothing is wrong, even if you are seething with outrage from within. Interestingly, those who are morally corrupt, expect others to be like them!
9. Get out at the first chance and do not raise a stink.
10. Just in case the entire matter suddenly takes on a legal turn, keep all your ‘evidence” in a safe and accessible place (not the company computer) and write your own notes to document what is happening. If you maintain a calendar make entries of appointments with peoples’ names and topics of the meeting.
11. Do not threaten legal action unless you have an attorney first. Assay the merits of the case first with your attorney.

Some Exit Strategies

Nearly everyone goes through phases in their jobs and careers where they doubt their future and value to their organization. If this feeling becomes chronic there is a time to reflect and act. Of course, your response to what is happening to you depends on the level at which you participate. For example a fresh graduate receiving an occasional heave-ho from their teammates or even their boss every now and then may not be a cause of concern. But, if a senior manager receives a series of signals, despite their ongoing and great contributions, must weigh their situation against the options and act on them with some studied reflection.

The following list is provided as a preparation to getting ready when a combination of circumstances, outlined in the 13 warning signs presented previously, become everyday part of your job:

1. Always have your résumé up to date. Find what assignments you can get in your current job that will enhance your résumé if you were to move on. On an ongoing basis look for such assignments and ask your boss before anyone else gets them.
2. Go above and beyond what is expected: provide the exceptional! This will give you a great avenue to write your leadership stories in the résumé and make you marketable on an ongoing basis.
3. Work quietly and stay in the background. Visible employees tend to get into trouble when things shift. Always focus on your work and not on your politics.
4. Do not speak ill of anyone. In an organization rumor mill is the main means of communication. Do not become a part of rumormongers.
5. Always stay positive. Even if you do not agree with a decision, carry out the assignment without complaining and to the best of your abilities.
6. Always make yourself dispensable by sharing what you do with others and leaving a trail of “what to do in case of…,” so that the organization does not suffer because you become unavailable. Share this with others so they know where to find the trail. Acting this way shows confidence in your own worth. Those who keep secrets about how they do things often get booted out, contrary to what they expect.
7. Always stay positive and optimistic, smiling often. It may not make you successful and let you get what you want, but how it annoys others might alone make it worthwhile to act this way!
8. If someone is undermining your efforts, observe carefully and then confront the person. Practice straight talk and see if you can understand their motives. Do not reciprocate by doing the same to them. Always be in your element. If undermining others and engaging in subterfuge is not your game, do not learn it just to survive in the changed circumstances; you will do poorly and get exposed.
9. If you do not believe in your boss’s leadership you must answer the question: can I live with this person as my manager? As we discussed in Chapter-3 leadership and being a manger are two entirely different relationships. Leaders inspire and make you forget that you are working. Instead they create an environment where their followers spontaneously do their best in ways they cannot explain. True leadership is a magical force. Is this happening in your everyday existence? If the answer is no, then you must ask yourself the next obvious question of being able to tolerate your manager.
10. The best way to really understand the relationship you have with your boss is to have a heart-to-heart talk where you discuss the deeper issues of your relationship with them in a non-confrontational way. Having a “straight talk” and seeking responses to your issues is the best way to understand the relationship between you and your boss. After all, leadership is about relationship, inspiration, and trust. If you do not see a flow of that energy then your boss is not a leader. It is difficult to sustain and be creative in such an environment. You must decide what your real options are from then on. Going in denial over what is happening merely prolongs the agony.
11. In some cases, a boss will sense your unhappiness after such a meeting (# 10 above) and may try to placate you by giving you a “promotion” and a title to go with it. But, in terms of real authority you may have little or none. Once the allure of the fancy title is vitiated by the lack of commensurate authority and power, you may start feeling worse than you did before your change of status. Now, if you are sidelined, you gradually lose your career momentum and paint yourself in a corner, with no place to go. The best strategy in such cases is to confront such situations early and keep your career momentum by either looking for other opportunities inside or going out aggressively after what you really want.
12. If the CEO or someone at or near the top ostracizes you because of a personal grudge and that you cannot repair that damage, do not expect even your most loyal colleagues to go to bat for you. They may feign that loyalty, but their own loyalty is to their job. Do not be misled by a misplaced sense of false loyalty.
13. If the source of the wrath is from really high place (s), but your boss likes you and your work, see if they will shield you and let you continue in a diminished role.
14. If, in spite of your good work and behavior, you start seeing the 13 warning signs listed at the beginning of this Appendix, prepare to leave.
15. Leave with dignity and grace.

Leaving with Dignity

Regardless of what prompts your departure you must remain unemotional about the whole process of leaving your employer (see Emotional Intelligence in Appendix-IV). The following tips are offered to make your departure not a liability on your career balance sheet:

1. Meet with your boss and state that you need to move on. Do not complain do not explain.
2. If you have something in hand already lined up that is great. If not do not lie. It is always a good idea to look for a job when you have one. Looking for a job when out of work often puts you at a disadvantage, but sometimes this becomes an inevitable reality. In such a case see if you can work out an arrangement with your boss, so that you can “park” yourself looking for work, inside or out, and get reassigned for a reasonable period.
3. Make oral presentation of your departure plans, the status of projects, etc. and explain that you plan to provide details when you present your letter of resignation. This is generally done in a day or so after the initial meeting.
4. Give at least two weeks’ notice
5. Ask whom you should brief on your pending assignments so that they can continue as you leave your job.
6. Give details of how your boss may be able to reach you in case something crops up after you depart. Set the parameters of your availability.
7. Thank your boss for the opportunities and their support. This may be difficult if the situation is causing a forced departure. Mention that for the most part you enjoyed working at the place. Do not let your immediate experience taint your entire tenure at the company.
8. Do not take parting shots at any one or any thing.
9. Do not expect a bon voyage party.
10. Do not loan your items to anyone with the excuse of coming back to visit and retrieving them once you leave. Most loaned items ¾ especially books ¾ are usually never returned.

Take all your personal files, belongings, and items with you on your way out. Do not expect them to be available later for you to retrieve.

Why? Most manage their careers by trial and error. There is no clear blueprint for success when it comes to one’s career and each person has their own challenges. Although a trial-and-error approach can be done on your own, it is grievously expensive and emotionally draining. To seek advice from an expert and to surgically attack a particular career or job issue can be quite fruitful and also economically profitable. Stories abound of how using just the right approach to negotiating your salary can make a difference that, in comparison, pales the fee you pay the coach, who helped you get what you went looking for. Sometimes, you do not even know what you should be looking for (Unconscious Incompetence) and a good coach can point it out and help you get it!

Secondly, a job and how one is engaged in it are deeply personal matters. Most think that what is happening to them is unique, and, if it is not going well or is not going as they had imagined, it must be their fault. Additionally, as one climbs the organizational ladder, new responsibilities pile up and few are aware of how best to discharge them and to make a mark. As your seniority increases, responsibilities increase commensurately, too, and even more importantly, expectations increase as well!

Most deal with their career reactively or reflexively. This means that if they see a position opening up that gives them a shot at the next promotion, they will figure out some ways to position themselves to attain that promotion. In almost all cases this is too late. The manager has already decided who is (is not) going to fill that position, well before you have become aware of it. The same applies during layoffs. Most are under the impression that layoffs are based on surplus headcount. This is not always the case. In many cases employees are earmarked to be included in the list of lay offs. This can be avoided, too, if you know what the signals are.

Most employees cannot see these signals. Their focus is on doing a good job assigned to them and on not getting into trouble. There is a completely different dimension that most employees are not even aware of in the corporate world; it is almost a scotoma in their career field of vision: Relationships and Politics. Relationships are built by making a special effort that goes beyond just doing a good job. Right relationships are key to a career success. As one gets more responsibilities it is not the quality of their work that matters as much as their relationships with those who can influence key decisions that matters. Politics is a social sport; in any organization it is the spice that enlivens the existence of an otherwise hum-drum existence. Those who know how to play this well always come out on top!

One reason why most manage their career by trial and error is that there is no articulate framework that allows them to chart a career and navigate their course with confidence. Yes, there are myriad books, tapes, publications and tools in this arena, but most fail to provide the ready answers to the situation that is specific to a person that cannot always be captured in a generic sense. Each specific case must be addressed with specific strategies that cannot be generalized. The difference it makes in the outcomes can be significant: multiple and lucrative job offers materialized in a short order, a greater starting salary, a sign-on bonus, a better title, a promise of a promotion, etc. Over the life of a career these advantages can be priceless! Yet, their cost is minuscule by comparison. Finding the right coach is central to this process.

Yet one more factor in career or job success is how one is able to deal with what is happening to them in their situation. Most people get emotionally attached to their situation and are not able to look at what is happening to them objectively. They develop a fear of defeat when it comes to negotiating their needs with those who can address them. This is particularly true during salary or title negotiation. Most are not able to present their case in objective terms of value and responsibility; they focus more on salary and title. With this perspective, it is hard to get what you are seeking.

So, how does an effective job or a career coach can help you in these situations? The following list may help you understand a bit better the value they can bring to you:

1. By working with a coach, you can discuss your concerns. Most clients operate in the state of Unconscious Incompetence in this realm; they don’t know what they don’t know and hence they let things happen to them and then discover that they are getting the short end of the stick. An expert coach can present to you the options and show what strategies you can leverage for the best outcome.
2. The best time to seek out a career coach is when you do not need one, or think that you don’t. In my own practice I cannot even count the times when just a casual conversation at a party or social gathering resulted in that person signing on as a client and deriving unexpected benefits. A good coach can help you not only avoid the traps that most do not see, scotoma again, they can help you overcome them and have you come out on top.
3. In today’s flux, even employers do not fully understand how to identify the right opportunity to fill and then find the right candidate to fill it with. Many merely open a job requisition based on a vacancy by posting a job description that itself may be hopelessly out of date, if not outright irrelevant. An astute career counselor can help you position to redefine that job in ways that gives you advantage and a better way to capture the new value in that position (more money, a better title, or better prospects, once you land)
4. A coach can show you how to position preemptively yourself for success. This is not an approach most employees take. They rely on their manager or the “system” to offer them what they think that they deserve. They are deeply disappointed when opportunities pass them by. By preemptively positioning a client for a course of action and by developing a plan to achieve the outcome a coach can catalyze their goals and can position for getting what they cannot otherwise achieve.
5. A coach can be indispensable during a client re-invention. In today’s climate where new opportunities abound, a re-invention can help re-ignite a client’s career.
6. A good career coach can also serve as your life coach. In today’s world the work and life issues are intertwined and are even nested. A good work-life balance is important for your own welfare.

Finding a good career or life coach is not difficult. Just ask those how might have used one or check out directories of professionals where such services are listed, such as LinkedIn.

How much you’re going to make is one of the first things that crosses your mind when a job is presented to you. It is perhaps because we measure our worth by how we are compensated. It’s a visible manifestation of our worth, status, and importance. It is no wonder that everyone is after getting a bigger paycheck. Although jokes abound in the matters of one’s pay (“why is this called your take-home pay? It is because you are embarrassed to take it anywhere else!”), everyone is deadly serious about how little money they make. This is perhaps because most money matters are relative.

The purpose of this article is to provide some guidelines so that you can explore if your compensation is equitable. The following guidelines provide some criteria for evaluating your own salary and compensation.

1. A given compensation at any level is a reflection of the basic economic rule of demand and supply. This means that for you to command a salary that is on the high end, you must demonstrate that you are a rarity. This must happen from the very beginning of your positioning and by how you approach a potential employer. Making an end-run on your compensation does not usually work well.
2. The best time to peg your salary is when an offer is presented to you. If you accept that with some eagerness the employer is going to assume that they are offering you the top dollar for what they are getting. Once again, your bargaining power depends on how you have positioned from the get-go and how you have differentiated yourself from the pool of candidate competing with you. During your transition it helps to position yourself for multiple offers, even though some offers may be from less desirable employers (the one you’re negotiating with does not have to know that).
3. Upon being offered a job, a good way to assess how you are being measured is to ask for the salary range for the position that you are getting. If you are on the low end of the range then, clearly, you are being viewed as a beginner in that role. You must argue that your value represents a salary that is to the right of the mid-point of the range and convince the employer to consider that as a commensurate compensation. Always let the employer come up with a number rather than you. Doing this allows you to negotiate.
4. Evaluate compensation for comparable positions through available databases as those provided online by salary.com. Make regional corrections to the data and come up with some guidelines for where you belong. Often employers make their decisions based on your immediate past job and sometimes that can throttle your efforts to negotiate your salary upwards. In such cases, focus your negotiations based on the value you bring to the new job and not based on your past salary. In most cases this works well if handled with confidence and logic. Having some options also helps (see #2).
5. If you are unable to get the compensation that you seek, but otherwise like every thing else about the job, ask yourself if this job can be a resume builder. If it is, then you can certainly increase your market value as you get traction in your new job. Additionally, upon on-boarding it is a good idea to have an initial discussion with your hiring manager about the compensation that you had hoped for and what is actually your starting salary. Asking them to monitor your performance and then making an ad-hoc adjustment based on what they see can be a good way to create an opportunity for mid-course correction in our salary. This generally works well. You must do this at the start of your job. Remember, in business you get what you negotiate and not what you deserve.
6. If you are already employed at a place and wonder if you are underpaid, a good way to check is to look at the periodic increases you have received. If you have not kept up with the typical inflation in your region then you have a reason to wonder. Annual average increases of 3-5 percent are typical. The rate of inflation has been about that. If one has stayed at a company for many years then it is possible that your wages are lagging the market norms. For any particular year, though, your increase may depend on your relative performance and not on the rate of inflation.
7. If you have evidence that you are indeed being paid below those around you who are doing comparable jobs, you must first assess why that is. Visit your annual reviews of the past few years and see if there are opportunities for you to improve in certain areas. If you have failed to show progress despite your manager’s specific suggestions, then you must remedy this by sitting down with your manager and working a plan that allows you to overcome that barrier.
8. If you believe that you are underpaid despite your value contribution (not your efforts) then you have a reason to take positive action. It is easy to equate salary to the effort you put in. This is misguided. The compensation you receive must be a measure of the value you deliver, regardless of how hard you work doing it. Also, your salary is not a reflection of your needs. Your needs are driven by your obligations and that is irrelevant in this discussion.
9. If you are not being paid commensurately and equitably it is best to convey that to your manager based on facts. It is best not to bring up someone else’s salary as a matter of comparison. Even if you happen to know someone’s salary you must not bring that during your discussion. In most companies you are to know only your salary, so stay focused on what you make and want to make. Remember that salary data in a given job category (“salary curves”) represent equitable salaries in a given market.
10. In this meeting with your manager you must present objective facts about your performance, contributions, and your market value. In this context it helps to have other benchmarks such as another job offer or market data that shows how a certain level of experience translates into salary data (there is a big range in such data, so be careful in making an argument merely based on this data). In such discussions it is difficult to translate the range into a number that you deserve. This is why having another job offer can be a big advantage.
11. If you are not able to convince your manage about getting a bigger salary, make a plan with them to deliver specific outcomes and tie those outcomes to an adjustment that you agree to beforehand. Do not make an end run when you happen to deliver something, more as an exception or through fortuitous circumstances. Often, a consideration can be one time bonus in such cases.
12. The best way to protect your prospects for a fair salary is to be aware of your value contributions and your comparative market value. If you are truly valuable but are unable to exploit that value at your current employer and if all the strategies suggested above fail to give you what is fair and equitable, you must look at other opportunities. Always keep your resume current and start shopping around.