Rev-1: June 21, 2010

Recently, I wrote an article about the seven points of inflection through one’s career lifecycle (my May 20th Blog).  As a career coach I often get asked if I also mentor my clients. When I ask them to explain what that means, the most common answer I get is a bit curious: “I have been told and I read often that for one to advance their career they must have a mentor. I never had one, so would you be my mentor, please?”

This article is about my perspective on the various resources that are available as one navigates through different phases of their career and what role a mentor can play in one’s career. This article is also about other types of help available and what their roles are in different parts of one’s career.

So, when someone approaches me to be their mentor, in response, I ask them what particular challenge they are facing in their career. What I get, in turn, is typically their immediate challenge to overcome a particular career obstacle, such as getting that next promotion or getting that assignment that will make their résumé bloom. What they fail to realize is that although a mentor can provide that guidance, a career coach can be much more effective in providing that immediate answer that is actionable. A mentor may be able to provide some guidance, but is not always expected to give them an action plan that will take them there. Although I provide both sets of expertise, I want my clients to be clear about the kind of help that is appropriate for their specific needs.

One factor that is critical to a better understanding of a mutual relationship is that a mentor-mentee bond must be built over time with their interactions typically less transactional than they would be with their career coach. Mentors have the knowledge and the wisdom to understand and to deal with their mentee’s situation, but they often lack the delivery skill and the process that make their knowledge and wisdom actionable in ways that the mentee can benefit. Without that express skill and the mentee’s savvy to internalize that guidance in a specific situation, the advice, applied in a misguided way can backfire; mentees often lack the skills to translate the inputs they get from the mentor to make them usable in an effective way. They need more hand holding than that is available in a typical mentor-mentee relationship. So, if you have a burning career issue and you need quick guidance, a career coach, not a mentor, is your best option.

As I reflect on my initial conversations with my prospects and my clients, I am compelled to ponder the basic question: How many people really know the difference between the various resources that are available to career professionals in advancing their career and in getting the right guidance?

There are five different resources that can guide a person through their life/career needs: therapist, career counselor, career coach, life coach, and mentor. Although there can be considerable overlap in different resources, their mainstay function is what is relevant in seeking the right help. So, each one has a unique role in how they can help:

Therapist: A therapist is a licensed professional, who is most effective when one is stuck in their past. If we are looking at two categories of people, one dysfunctional and the other, functional, then a therapist can help a dysfunctional person become whole with therapy. Sometimes, the dysfunction does not always come from unresolved issues, but it is a dysfunction stemming from lack of basic skills. In such a case some basic training and education can be a good start. Therapy has mostly to do with unresolved issues that a person is not able to get past and move ahead as a fully functional being. So, if what happened in your past life remains unresolved and you must move past that, a therapist can be the right person. Seeing a career coach without seeing a therapist in some cases can be counterproductive, even harmful. So, to summarize, a therapist can help you with your Yesterday!

Career counselor: A career counselor is a degreed professional (a degree in career counseling, often followed by a license or a state certificate) who helps their clients in career selection. Typically, high-school or college students meet a career counselor, where they go through a battery of standard tests to help the counselor understand their aptitudes and learning preferences in how they can apply their knowledge and skills in a given profession. This is, of course, not an exact science, so a counselor’s assessment cannot be taken as a definitive guidance in choosing a lifelong career. You must insert your own judgment into the process to make this useful. Career counselors deal with the “here and now.” They usually cannot predict how a given profession is going to continue over a person’s life span, nor can they predict how economic forces will morph the need for that profession.

The US Department of Labor publishes its Occupational Outlook Handbook that compiles projections of different job categories and their future landscape and their earning potential, including demand/supply projections over time. Working with a career counselor, reading the OOH, and then talking to a few professionals engaged in the career of your interest can be a good combination for gathering useful information for you to decide how to move forward. The final choice must be yours and not anyone else’s, including those of your parents and relatives!

In other countries resources available to understand similar projections are unknown to me, so if any of my international readers are willing to share what they know I’d be happy to include that in the blog. Please use the Comments section to provide that input.

Career Coach: In general coaching refers to the activity of a coach in developing the abilities of their clients. Metaphorically, a coach takes their client from where they are now to their desired destination (a carriage or a horse-drawn coach is just that!), including a short jaunt. Coaching tends to focus on the achievement by clients of a goal or a specific skill. Methodologies for coaching are positioned away from the directive or the facilitative and rest on accompanying clients within a dialog that will allow emerging patterns and solutions to surface. If the coach also has the expertise needed to analyze the different possibilities the client uncovers as they dialog, the coaching process can be even more effective in guiding the client to a specific course of action by their avoiding trial and error. Coaching belongs on the scale between mentoring and training on the one end, and psychotherapy and counseling on the other.

There are many applications of coaching ranging from sport, to business, to niches such as divorce or motivational speaking. Sessions may be either one-on-one or in a group setting, in-person, or over the telephone, or by electronic means.

Today, coaching is a recognized discipline used by many professionals engaged in human development focused on achieving results. Although there are certifications in specific areas of coaching by accredited institutions, most coaching professionals operate in an unregulated environment.

Career coaching is one aspect of this profession to be discussed in this article.

A career coach is an experienced professional, who has the pulse of the current job market and who understands how to work with a client and translate what they need to change to move in the right direction with minimum trial and error. A career coach can provide valuable guidance during a career transition (as from a job loss), navigating through one’s career challenges (stuck career, dealing with a bad boss, etc), and selecting a right course of action when there are alternate choices that are confusing. Although some career coaches provide assessments and show clients what their options might be in moving forward, sessions that result from using such tools are usually not valuable to the client in decisively moving forward. They are also often a waste of time and money! A good career coach is quickly able to grasp your immediate career challenge and to provide help to move ahead with confidence. In summary, a career coach helps you with your Today!

Mentor: A mentor is an accomplished professional who has interest in sharing their wisdom gained from their years of experience in dealing with situations in both their personal and professional lives. Good mentors also have a broad view of how to deal with personal and professional challenges and can guide their mentees (although mentee is the preferred term, an alternate term is protégé) in navigating through some of these challenges. Mentors often lack the detailed knowledge of how their mentees can use what they are recommending or suggesting so that the mentees can utilize their wisdom in advancing their career or in solving a particular problem they are dealing with. One reason for this limitation is that a typical mentor has just one or two mentees that they are helping at any time.

A career coach, on the other hand, has a much richer experience with different clients (often, thousands) to know what specific action plans can work in each situation. Because a career coach’s effectiveness lies in how they codify their varied experience with many clients in formulating an action plan for their clients and then delivering it in a customized way, they often spend much time and effort in making their knowledge and practice principles easy to understand and implement for their clients. A mentor does not always share this obligation.

So, although a mentor brings rich knowledge in the mentor-mentee relationship, it is up to the mentee to translate that exchange into terms that become actionable and useful in the mentee’s context. This is not always easy because mentees lack the experience that the mentors have in making the advice practicable. In most cases, a mentee is operating in their state of “unconscious incompetence,”(they do not know what they don’t  know) so, when their mentor suggests a course of action that is obvious, for the mentee making that workable can be a challenge.   Yet, despite this ostensible limitation mentors are good at showing long-term vision to their mentees and in giving guidance about how to deal with some of the challenges that they are likely to encounter in the future. In summary, a mentor helps with your Tomorrow!

It is important to appreciate the differences between instructing, coaching, and mentoring. Instructing deals largely with the dissemination of knowledge. While coaching deals primarily with skill building, a mentor is one who helps shape the outlook or attitude of the individual for a better tomorrow! A mentor often inspires with new possibilities, whereas a career coach can show you how to seize the ones that appeal to you the most. If you carry the previous metaphor of the coach as a physical carriage, then the mentor illuminates the path that you are using to go where the coach is taking you! Mentoring is thus providing a lighted path to the mentee for their future success. A coach would help out with work and career related issues, providing specific tools and guidance to help their client navigate through today’s challenges. A mentor, on the other hand, would focus on issues pertaining to career and life, mostly helping their mentee avoid some of the obstacles that the mentor has conquered or has recognized as their own learning evolved. Mentoring can also potentially promote spiritual development, without injecting their personal religious beliefs.

There are two main mentoring relationships: formal and informal. Informal relationships develop on their own between partners. Formal mentoring, on the other hand, refers to a structured process supported by the organization and addressed to target audiences. Youth mentoring programs assist at-risk children or youth who lack role models and sponsors. In business, formal mentoring is part of talent management addressed to populations such as key employees, newly hired graduates, high potentials, and future leaders (this is where the appropriate noun is protégé). In formal mentoring, matching of mentor and mentee is done by each choosing the partner in order to avoid creating a forced and inauthentic relationship.

There are formal mentoring programs that are values-oriented, while social mentoring and other types can also focus specifically on career development. Some mentorship programs provide both social and vocational support. In well-designed formal mentoring programs, there are program goals, schedules, training (for both mentors and mentees), and evaluation.

There are many kinds of mentoring relationships from school or community-based relationships to e-mentoring relationships. These mentoring relationships vary and can be influenced by the type of mentoring relationship that is in effect. Mentoring relationships can develop under a cloning model, nurturing model, friendship model, and apprenticeship model. The cloning model is about the mentor trying to “produce their duplicate copy.” The nurturing model takes more of a parent figure, creating a safe, open environment in which mentee can both learn and try things for on their own. The friendship model is more based on a peer relationship rather than being involved in a hierarchical relationship. Lastly, the apprenticeship model is about less personal or social aspects and the professional relationship is the sole focus (here, again, the correct usage is protégé).

It is not unusual for one professional to have several mentors at any given time. Each relationship provides specific guidance (career advancement, professional expertise, general counsel, and just wisdom from having lived a varied and rich life!). It is, however, rare for one to have more than one career coach at the same time.

Life Coach: Life coaching is a practice with the aim of helping clients determine and achieve personal goals (these may not include career or professional goals). Life coaches select from among several methods to help clients set and reach personal goals. Life coaches are neither therapists nor consultants; psychological intervention and business analysis are outside the scope of their engagement. Life coaching has its roots in executive coaching, which drew on techniques developed in leadership training. Often, a Life Coach is a cheerleader, inspiring their clients with frequent doses of motivation to keep their spirits up and to keep their focus on the goal at hand. The coach may apply mentoring, values assessment, behavior modification, behavior modeling, goal setting, and other techniques, including the use of their own tools that they have developed as a repertoire in their profession, in helping their clients. Since life coaching can be viewed as an intervention sought to improve quality of life and for increasing the effectiveness of available resources to the client, it is also seen as something that helps their client in their today for a better tomorrow! More importantly, a good life-coaching intervention can take a person to higher levels of personal actualization than is possible on their own.

Good help, as one needs it in different phases of their life and career, is difficult to get. But, having the clarity on the type of help one most needs can be a good start in avoiding the ones that are less likely to be useful and a waste of time and money!

Suffering is not ennobling, recovery is! —Dr. Christen Bernard

As we go through our life, we face ups and downs. In most cases we deal with them as they come and learn from the lessons, dealing with them. In the process we discover ourselves. This is what makes our life meaningful; having conquered the challenges and having overcome the obstacles, becoming a better person in the process. As is said: Life is not about getting and having, but it is about being and becoming!

It is not uncommon to have a few challenges in our lives that are so daunting that they seem insurmountable; their source implacable. Often, too, these troubles seem to come in waves, also non-stop at certain times, and we have to put our “regular” life on hold, just dealing with them as they come. When this happens we often ask ourselves, “why me?”

In my profession as a career and a life coach I routinely come across clients who have faced big challenges and are finding ways to deal with them with all their resources and the new tools that I provide them so that they come on top. They, by and large, are willing to learn from others’ lessons to make them their own to accelerate their learning and to discover something about themselves in the process. This is an effective strategy for learning and for using a professional who has “been there, done that.”

However, sometimes, these clients, having seen the success and a turnaround with sound coaching, send me a friend or someone they know is suffering through their own challenges and is getting deeper in with their difficulties: a job loss followed by long periods of unemployment, followed by an addiction, culminating in an end of their relationship with their partner or their marriage. This list is long, but the pattern of these challenges that these people face is familiar; a spiraling cycle of negative events that deplete them and cause them to lose hope and to go into despair and to eventually face a blind funk that seizes them and paralyzes them!

It is often that I find these clients slowly slipping into martyrdom and making no attempts to recover from their plight, despite a clear path out of it by making a positive change in their lives to turn things around.

Why?

When a series of negative events come by our way, each one being worse than the previous, we feel naturally victimized and singled out in our plight. During such times we often look at our friends and others around us who are ostensibly “doing well” and ask ourselves what we did to deserve this fate. Often, too, our ego gets in the way of asking for a hand from those who can help us or provide us some guidance for moving forward. Our pride prevents us from taking actions that we perceive as condescending and we personalize our plight. What is needed, instead, is taking these challenges personally and moving forward.

What is the difference?

When someone takes a defeat or setback and personalizes them it means that they are finding ways that they could have avoided their fate by previously taking a different course of action, instead of the one that they took. They also indulge in  flights of speculation about what particular event must have been the tipping point in their sorry course of action that they are now facing. These speculative flights of fancy are often meaningless and do not provide any actionable way out of your ongoing and exacerbating plight.

Taking such events personally, on the other hand, means taking control of what is happening and forming a course of action to slowly overturn the cycle of events and bringing control back in your life. Since personalizing our plight does not provide any meaningful solution to our getting out of our own troubles, those in this state often resort to becoming a full-time martyr to deal with their situation. A full-time martyr is someone who is going around mouthing their troubles and seeking others’ sympathies—not actionable guidance—for their plight. They are less interested in taking positive action and trying new things, especially when it may entail condescending to lesser employment or doing things that are not “glamorous.”

The other characteristic these martyrs exhibit is that they often go around feeling sorry for themselves and only taking in the negative in any situation that they encounter. This now creates a self-defeating cycle that has only one ( of the two) way out: changing your outlook or becoming a martyr emeritus!

The lessons to be had from our difficulties include learning things that we are not comfortable with and making a change. If the change is not made in a timely way we run the risk of becoming irrelevant. Once we become irrelevant then we run the risk of losing hope of recovering what we lost through our transition, which if handled well, should make us stronger.

So, what is a course of action that one must follow to get out of our martyrdom and our difficulties and to come out on top? Here’s a list:

1. Vision and hope: Keeping a clear vision of the success you want to create when you come out of this transition and keeping your hope to achieve that vision are key to staying positive. Sometimes, it takes more effort than anticipated because of the deteriorating economy or other forces. So, staying energized by keeping your vision in sight is important in an uncertain transition.
2. Structure: When outside forces such a job loss, an impending negative event such a legal trial or a bankruptcy, or a divorce disrupt your fold of regular life, the best strategy is to bring back structure to your life. For example, your job, marriage, or everyday routine when things are going well provide you a certain structure and a rhythm to your life. When a disruption occurs, the best thing to do is to create a new structure and a new rhythm that helps you keep your life more predictable and managed. This goes a long way in managing yourself in many areas such a physical fitness, weight control, and mental well-being.
3. Discipline: When there is a major disruption in your life by external forces merely having a structure will not be enough. A disciplined approach to attending to what must be done is key to progress. There will be temptations from many fronts to avoid doing the right thing and those in martyrdom surrender to “treating themselves” to unhealthy food, bad habits that provide instant gratification, and time wasters that fritter away valuable resources. A simple error in judgment repeated multiple times is what culminates into a state of affairs, which suddenly become beyond control and spiral into a vicious cycle of behaviors. This is why self-discipline is so important when things are in the tank momentarily.
4. Self-esteem: When things start going awry, such as a job loss or financial setback, self-esteem is one of the first things that get affected. This spiraling self-esteem now spills into your everyday energy that you carry into your campaign of recovery. Not flogging yourself with your setbacks is a good strategy. Being with positive people in this state is far more conducive than being with “support groups” in which everyone else is in the same boat as you are. There, often, the race becomes between who is facing the most woes! An occasional trip to a support group can be healthy, but watch out from yourself becoming a part of a bunch of diehard martyrs!
5. Social events: Being alone when things look gloomy can exacerbate their affect. Getting out with positive people and not dwelling on your woes is a good move. Discussion of positive topics and intellectually stimulating conversations is the best antidote for feeling down and being in a funk. “Introverted” types (INTJs, ISTJs, etc) should make a special effort to become social in tough times.
6. Action plan: An action plan that is milestones driven is a good tool to keep in the battlefield. As long as you are able to generate meaningful action you are able to stay positive and hopeful and only you have control over how this is done, every day that you are facing your challenges. Sharing that action plan with another person in your support group can be a healthy habit.
7. Volunteering: Working with those less fortunate is always an empowering experience. It keeps your own woes in perspective and the fact that you can help someone even less fortunate can be energizing, just when you need it.
8. Taking time out: When things get intense and unbearable, it is often natural for us to try harder to overcome the forces. Often, it is best to just step back and reflect on what is going on and then come back to it with a fresh perspective at another time.
9. Celebrating wins: Even in the worst of times you succeed at some thing. Pause, reflect, and celebrate these successes. Nothing is more rewarding and energizing than reassuring yourself that you can still overcome life’s little challenges on your own.
10. Staying positive: Positive attitude is critical to coming out a winner through a tough situation. It is difficult to stay positive when things look gloomy and are falling apart for you internally. As is said, A positive attitude may not get you what you want, but it sure will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!

Good luck!

The doctrine of the material efficacy of prayer reduces the Creator to a cosmic bellhop of a not very bright or reliable kind. -Herbert J. Muller, educator, historian, and author (1905–1980)

In tough economic times, as many of us are facing these days, we often pray; more than we do when things are going well for us. When times are tough for us financially, we visit our place of worship more diligently and scrounge what we can for the collection plate. We pray harder and more often for our immediate economic salvation and for rescue from our troubles. In tough times we often surrender our good sense of devising clever ways to get ourselves out of our troubles; we put our faith in getting our prayers answered, instead, while continuing ourselves on the same beaten path as we did when times were good!

Our belief that God helps us by listening to our prayers and by showing us the way in troubled times in general, not just financial, is our primordial belief! Most believe in a supreme being that has power over us all. If this is a commonly held belief for so long then why not invoke, we reason, that power to help us through our troubles?

Well, the real power to extricate ourselves in financially troubled times comes not from divine intervention that we so desperately seek, but it does from looking inwardly within our own powers! Most are not even aware that in our everyday pursuits we barely use about the tenth of our true capacity or potential. We do not, as a consequence, realize that the lion’s share of our true capability does not get utilized unless we challenge ourselves to mobilize it. Tapping into this vast reservoir of our own power takes courage, will, and determination. Instead, we resort to prayers and seek divine intervention for salvation from our mundane challenges! Then we wait patiently hoping for a miracle!

Well, this notion is misguided, if not wrong!

The reality that each one of us has far more powers and potential than we ourselves realize is captured by a famous quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s writing, which reminds us that what lies behind and ahead of us are tiny compared to what lies within us. Yet most people, when financial trouble strikes them, such as a job loss or lost fortunes dues to financial downturns, immediately put out their hand for help, or close both in prayers to seek their own salvation. In so doing they diminish themselves, not because they prayed, but because they surrendered their own unknown powers to a possibility that may never materialize, as the quote at the top of this article suggests. This is not to say that prayers are a waste; rather, praying for our own selfish reasons diminishes us all!

So what is one to do in troubled times? Well, here are a few suggestions:

1. Reflect on what the troubles are and find the root cause of the trouble. Often we confuse our symptoms with the troubles themselves and are endlessly trying to create a symptomatic cure. In so doing, we dig ourselves deeper. Finding a root cause of your troubles takes reflective thinking, introspection, and open mind, without finding someone to blame externally.
2. Ask yourself: What would I do differently if someone guaranteed that I would not fail. Then ask yourself why do you think that if you pursue that challenge that you would fail. By carefully analyzing each cause of potential failure you are mentally dealing with how to not make it fail. Pretty soon the undertaking may not look so daunting.
3. If you follow any venture with true passion, not worrying about how much (or how) you are going to make money on it, you’d be surprised to discover that if you do something with your soul behind it that money will just come!
4. When you are on your Path, the entire power of the universe will be behind you in ways that will surprise you. If you did not believe in synchronicity, this experience alone will make you a believer! Put your faith in the universe to help you, but you do the heavy lifting!
5. Seek help from those who can guide you through your planning. People are much more ready to help when they know that you are hurting, are not asking for a handout, but are asking for a hand. Generous people derive vicarious pleasure helping someone in trouble, without having to give a handout.
6. If you have your loved ones around you, share your adventure and plan and ask for what part they can play to make the plan successful. You’d be surprised by the sacrifices your loved one will be willing to make if you go forward with your idea with conviction and share it with them.
7. When you embark on your new path, give all your focus and energy to make your idea work. Do not hesitate for a minute if you believe in its merit.
8. Celebrate small successes and share them with those around you. Give them credit for their support and efforts. Read inspirational stories of others who have endured tremendous odds and have succeeded in their ventures.
9. Ask someone to be your sounding board to get ideas and to do course correction. Often, when you pursue your agenda it is easy to lose sight of common sense and get into trouble. If you realize that you have taken a path that will not take you where you wanted, regroup and make adjustments to your plan.
10. And, finally, pray for success!

Tough times can be used as a test of our capabilities and as an opportunity for our personal growth. Merely praying without a solid action plan can often lead to questioning your faith and disappointments.

Good luck!

“Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything.”

—Evelyn Waugh

During many of my talks I often get asked why the world—especially the employment world—has become so impolite, even rude. When asked to amplify, those asking the question tell me that they do not get response to their emails, their voice mails are not returned, and often, the employment process looks like a black hole because of its one-sidedness!

One reason for this is that the process of sending job applications has become so easy because the Internet that most applicants do not even look at the match between their qualifications and the job requirements. So, even a very specifically crafted job posting gets a cataract of resumes and the employer is forced to screen all of them looking for a needle in a haystack. Everyone has become cost conscious so that employers are relying on their recruiters to do the screening before sorting out the wheat from the chaff. They (The pretty) simply do not have the time to respond to each request from the applicant (The plain!). There is not much one can do about this (pretty) side of the equation.

However, the other side of the equation is you and you certainly can do something about this. Here are some guidelines:

1. Unless you assess the match between the job description and your skills at 90% or more, do not apply. For gaps that are noticeable craft a great cover letter to justify sending your response. This cover letter must not only neutralize the gaps, but it must intrigue the reader to call you.
2. If you send your response that does not allow for differentiation from other responses do not expect to get any response for your follow-ups. If the opening requires a response with your resume posted in their browser’s digital window, your response in not differentiated. However, if you send an overnight package or even a package in the US Mail in addition to the required mode of response, you are differentiated. If your response is worthy of attention (you decide) then calling or emailing the recipient is worth a try.
3. When sending emails make sure that you completely identify yourself in your signature block. It must have your complete name, email address (yes again here, too) and your contact phone number in one place. This makes it easy for the recipient to call you right away if they so choose, and it shows them that you are careful about your identity. I cannot even tell you how many emails I get from my own clients simply signed “Dave” or “Sally” and I am expected to figure out who they are, look up their number, and call them; and I am not even a hiring manager!
4. Most managers do not like to return messages by phone (takes too much time); they prefer email, instead. So, if you want to get a response the best strategy is to first send an email and say that you’d call them at a certain time. Then call them, leave a voice mail and say in that message that you are also sending them another email to make it easy for them to respond. My anecdotal experience with this strategy is that the response rates jumps from less than 5% to nearly 75%! Not a bad investment to get a returned message!
5. Manners are about making others comfortable dealing with you. Hassle free interactions require forethought and an understanding of how humans manage their time in this frenzied world. This is not rocket science but considering how many “plain” folks do not get it, it is beginning to look as though that it should be!

Bravo, Katie!

Now, what about you?

We, as professionals, come to similar realizations throughout our career. Many do not admit that they have reached their end of shelf life at their job, as they get growingly comfortable in their own situation. A job becomes stale, a career becomes stalled, or one fails to see beyond the next promotion to where their career is headed. It is easy to be seduced by the “security” of your job, the ongoing increases in salary, and even an occasional promise of a promotion to keep your nose to the grindstone. Over the past decade, the job market has become increasingly volatile and jobs are getting re-defined, Banglored, and even eliminated resulting in an increasingly nervous job market. So, what is one to do to keep their career momentum on track and to keep themselves productively employed?

The following prescription may help those who are determined to keep their career on track and their job engagement fresh:

1. Look back in your current job and see how you have grown in the past two or so years. If you are not getting a new perspective and are not learning something new every day, then you are not fresh in your job anymore; you have reached the end of your shelf life.
2. Do not confuse the annual reviews and the raises you get with the learning and growth that you derive from your job. If you do what is assigned to you with your eyes closed, then your company is obviously impressed by your performance. So, merely getting high marks on your annual review does not mean that you are deriving the personal and professional growth that is critical to your ongoing marketability.
3. Look around and see what opportunities your company is missing out on and identify how you can re-scope your job or even re-define it, by sitting down with your manager and making it work for you. If your manager is not willing to give you that latitude, find other areas in your company that can use your initiative and skills to make a better name for itself in the marketplace. In such endeavors, having a first-hand customer input can be a selling point.
4. Look at the job openings in your industry and see how your competitors are filling similar positions. If comparable jobs require skills that you do not have, then you must learn those skills in your current job and make yourself more marketable.
5. Write your resume to address the skills that are required at other companies and then seek assignments that make those entries a reality. This is a proactive approach to career management.
6. Once you have identified the work that you want to be doing to continue your growth at your own company, it can take several months to realize that assignment. Each passing month makes you that much more stale in your current job. So, do not wait.
7. If you are gutsy, go ahead and position yourself beyond what is logically feasible. So, if you are manager in your job with enough savvy, but not the required experience, to fill a director-level position, go ahead and apply to where such an opportunity exists. Even if you do not meet all the requirements, neutralize the objections by presenting in your cover letter, forward-looking job skills that you bring to the position and ace that opportunity.

   In one example, my client, a senior IT professional, who was not quite “ready” for a CIO’s job, sent her resume with a cover letter addressing how the emerging trend of Software As a Service (SaaS) was going to change IT’s role in the next two years. She was able to articulate how IT’s role was going to shift with this change and how the company needed to prepare itself to empower the line and business managers to deal with this reality. She got invited to the interviews and the selection process is currently underway. Without such a message in the cover letter, she may have been passed over for the selection process because she lacked the number of years required at the executive position.

8. Do not let your “friends” undermine you in your pursuits. If you believe that you have the abilities to claim a job that is a step up from where you are now, go ahead and claim the job. You’d be surprised how, having a single-minded focus and determination can conspire to deliver the outcomes that you desire.
9. The only limit to how far you can go is your own limiting beliefs. So, if you are feeling stuck in your current position, check your limiting beliefs.
10. Do not be afraid to fail or get a setback. This is a good sign; it means that you have discovered when you have gone too far. As Emerson said, “Your reach should be greater than your grasp.” Do not confuse a setback with an obstacle; a setback can be a stepping stone. Only when you give up trying after a setback it becomes a failure.

Managing your own career today is mostly in your hands and you must proactively look for opportunities that may not be apparent to many around you. You must act as an entrepreneur in today’s environment and realize what others are missing.

Katie Couric’s evening news is not doing very well these days, after the initial fanfare wore off. Yet, she continues to re-invent how the evening news can be presented to the audience, with a soupcon of raillery and entertainment. Is she going to bounce back in her ratings? No one knows, but Katie is having the time of her life. And, so can you!

]]> http://blog.dilipsaraf.com/2009/06/katie-couric-and-your-job%e2%80%99s-shelf-life/feed/ 0 http://blog.dilipsaraf.com/2009/05/overcoming-limiting-beliefs/ http://blog.dilipsaraf.com/2009/05/overcoming-limiting-beliefs/#comments Sat, 02 May 2009 18:01:10 +0000 Dilip Saraf http://blog.dilipsaraf.com/?p=111 “No one makes you feel inferior without your consent.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

This article is about how we get in our own way to go and conquer what could otherwise rightfully be ours! These two stories are the most recent encounters I have had with two clients: One in his early 50s and another in his mid-20s.

So, without further ado let me just tell you their stories and how they overcame their own limiting beliefs (names are disguised):

Karim Hasan came from India 25-plus years back and progressed well to become a software QA Manager until he was laid off in 2003. Before the layoff, he was aspiring to be promoted to the director position, but his hopes were dashed when the ax fell. It took him nearly a year of intense search before he found a job as a QA Manager at another software company. He worked there for two years and was, once again, laid off as the company was reorganized and later fell on hard times.

Karim kept looking for comparable jobs for over six months but was unable for find any openings as a QA Manager in the software or high-tech industry. Frustrated, he approached me and said with great resignation that he had given up his hopes of ever becoming a director and that he was even willing to settle for a job as a QA Lead. When pressed why he would surrender his dream so readily, Karim replied with a sigh that he needed to land just any job to get re-employed and to start earning money again.

When I asked him if he had looked for any director-level openings in companies where he could work, he gave me that resigned look, and laughingly said that he did not even considered that a possibility. “Who is going to give a director-level job to a person who is jobless and who has been laid off twice as a manager?” was his refrain. Then he gave me that unmistakably wistful look!

After what seemed like an interminable pause, I asked Karim if he would be interested in re-visiting his dream and pursuing it with a renewed purpose. After some hemming and hawing, he said that if I could show him how to go after such jobs that he would put some effort into it. He wanted assurances from me that he would get such a job if he tried. Of course, I could not, but assured him that the effort was worth a try if he was willing put his energy into it.

The next step was for Karim to go and search for QA Director jobs. He found one posted by a major high-tech company in the Silicon Valley. The catch was that the job was in India for the first two years and then it was going to move back to the US. He also found two other director-level jobs that were based in the local area but they did not excite him. After some research, we found that a stint in India, especially as a QA Director would be a great boon to Karim’s career. A two-year stint in a hot place such as Hydrabad, India, Karim could master the off shoring experience and come back as an even more marketable candidate if the company chose not to retain him here.

Now, Karim got excited and started being energized about the prospects of going after the job and getting that valuable experience under his belt. He still was diffident about the whole selection process, though.

His alacrity inspired me to jump in and start laying out a plan.

The first step was burnishing his resume message, which needed to project an executive image. The second step was a well-researched cover letter. The cover letter briefly laid out the challenges the company’s off shoring efforts could be facing (this was researched from recent media coverage and some discussions with insiders we both knew at that company) and how Karim’s expertise would fit well to meet these challenges head-on.

Within days, Karim got a phone call interview from the recruiter and then the local hiring manager. Karim was very coachable, so he did well in both those rounds. The next step was face-to-face with three others at the local headquarters of the company. Using the insights from the first two rounds, Karim was able to prepare himself for the third round and he aced that as well. This was followed by specific thank you notes to each interviewer addressing issues that surfaced in the interview.

Needless to say within a week Karim got the offer and after some negotiations, decided to take the job.

Karim starts his job in India on March 1, 2007!

The second story belongs to 25-year old John Hubert, who graduated from Brown University, a prestigious Ivy League school in Providence, RI. Although he had graduated with a B-Minus average nearly 18 months back, the courses he chose for his bachelor’s degree had made him a less attractive candidate in the job market. Philosophy and other “soft” course that crowded his transcripts made him a less desirable candidate for jobs as a financial analyst or other business-oriented jobs.

All his classmates had long since been employed in the industry and businesses as financial analysts, business analysts, or had gone on to join the State Department as Interns. Since his classmates had given him leads at companies where they worked, he had been invited to many interviews during these moths but was never able to get past the first round.

As John was about to give up his efforts to land a job as a degreed professional he came to me to ask what he could do, short of applying for a job at a local Radio Shack outlet. After reviewing his background and how he had fared in the interviews during the past 18 months, I explored to see if he could pursue some other line of work than being a financial or business analyst. John could not see any clear possibility, either. It was clear that this was going to be difficult with his credentials.

As I was exploring John’s skills ( his “genius” or Unique Skills) I discovered that John had an exceptional talent for presenting really complex data in a lucid and friendly way; something, that even he was unaware of.

This was a eureka moment for both of us in our attempts at packaging his message. So, now, armed with this insight we re-packed John’s message, not as a financial analyst, but as someone how can take the work of financial analysts and present it to those who are going to be making decisions based on that analysis. So, although John responded to the open jobs for financial analysts, in the cover letter and in the resume, the focus was not so much on his skills as a financial analyst, but more as someone who brings that analysis to life for those who are going to act on it!

Well, that was the breakthrough that we needed. The next job that opened up for a financial analyst was John’s salvation and within three rounds of interviews John landed not as a financial analyst but as a lead presenter who would work with five other analysts to package and present the data, with some added job perks that the analysts did not have!

So, what is the point of these two stories? Well, I think that we need to look at ourselves little more openly and be ready to consider higher possibilities if the ones that you are targeting are rebelling against you! Preposterous as it sounds, it works.

All it takes is a shift of mind and some moxy!

Good luck!

Navigating successfully through a career requires many ingredients. Hard work, planning, being there at the right time, knowing the right people, among factors, all play a role in a successful career. But, even then a career is filled with road bumps, unpredictable events, and situations that are sometimes hard to decipher. No matter how smart you are in what you do, having a perspective from an outsider and who can also give you the right insight at critical times are invaluable in keeping your career on track.

Being successful in a career is experiencing growth. Part of the growth comes from overcoming difficult situations that are personal in nature or from the way they affect your well being in an organization. Having someone you can implicitly trust and to whom you can reveal professional insecurities and personal inadequacies comfortably and confidentially are critical to a successful career. This is what a mentor can provide.

A mentor must be removed from your day-to-day life. This provides the objectivity to the mentoring process. This is where you talk to the mentor and communicate the challenge you face and try to get their objective advice. This is why your boss, colleague, or subordinate cannot be your mentor. They lack the proper clinical distance to give you objective advice.

A mentor is someone who takes personal interest in your professional success. They can be even be someone who earn a living doing this. A mentor, therefore, is someone who is committed to helping you find a path to career success. A good mentor uses the Socratic Method to develop you professionally and personally and provides the following:

• An objective perspective
• An industry and business insight coming from personal experience
• Wisdom from having lived through tough times
• A network of contacts
• Guiding you to other resources when they do not have the answers
• Personal intervention when your actions are undermining your welfare

Using the Socratic Method entails asking questions in a sequence to the person who comes seeking answers. The way questions are asked back reveal insights that can benefit the one seeking answers. Often, no one person can provide all these benefits. Some provide them to a varying degree. It is not uncommon to have different mentors that provide different inputs. Developing mentor/mentee relationship is one of the most challenging prospects in a career. A good mentor can make a difference in the success of a career.

Making it Happen

Decide what you want from a mentor/mentee relationship: What is your objective in this relationship? Are you looking for organizational guidance or are you looking for professional and personal development through this relationship? Are you looking for relationships? Answers to these and other questions can help in deciding whom to pursue for this relationship.

Assess what you bring: A good mentor/mentee relationship is typically a give and take. You must give something in return for what you get out of the relationship. Be very clear with the person so that there is no surprise or disappointment.

Make a list: Ask around and check out for yourself. The most important element of a good mentor/mentee relationship is personal chemistry. This is usually established in a series of meetings not just one encounter. Some companies have an official mentoring program. Enroll in the program and see what is available. Interview candidates so that you can get a good picture of the relationship you will develop over the long term.

The problem with a company-sponsored program is that once you leave the company the relationship ends. The other limitation is that it is difficult to explore matters that may be in conflict with the company’s interest (another job) without compromising you.

Establish ground rules: When do you see each other? How often? How long? Where (home)? These are some of the logistical issues that must be addressed? Often, they evolve just as the mentor/mentee relationship evolves.

Young Mentors

Although mentor in the dictionary sense means someone who acts as your trusted counselor or a guide, it has a connotation of seniority. A mentor is usually an experienced professional full of wisdom stemming from their years of having lived a life of adventure, accomplishments, and learning. They are also pursued because of their power, influence, and stature in the business community in which they play. In today’s context that definition of a mentor may be limiting. Why? Many young professionals these days are highly driven, accomplished, and savvy. The rapid growth of technologies has made mastering these technologies a challenge for most. Somehow, the younger generation seems to master them well and, as a result, is a great resource for learning. They are also well versed with how their generation deals with the fast-changing world, which the older generation seems to find challenging.

Having a young mentor may seem like a contradiction, but in today’s world it is a necessity. There is no rule that says you must have only one mentor. One of your mentors could be someone (or several) who is savvy at something that you want to learn. Jack Welch, the legendary chairman of General Electric, often courted Gen-Y (and even Gen-X) professionals and called them his mentors. He learned much about the Internet and how they look at the exploding commerce in this new paradigm.

Common Mistakes

The following is a short list of common mistakes made in developing a mentor/mentee relationship:

• You look to your boss to be your mentor.
• You and your mentor are frustrated with the lack of progress made. A mentor/mentee relationship is more about personal growth and maturity and not project deliverables.
• Having a blind faith in the mentor. Mentors are humans, too. They, too, need mentors. Do not expect too much from a mentor. They do not have all the answers.
• Not knowing when to move on. Every relationship plays out. Once you start seeing the end of a relationship because of your own growth or the stagnation of the mentor, gradually move on and do not make a big deal about it. Graduating to a different mentor is a sign of growth

Coaching

Coaching and mentoring are considered kindred needs in the corporate world. Although they are complementary in their application, nothing could be further from the truth. While mentoring involves someone who can guide you in your career and who brings both the content and the context of what is happening in your situation to the relationship, coaching invariably involves someone who gets paid for understanding the context of your predicament. A mentor can be a person inside your organization, if not in your company, but a coach is usually a professional who comes from the “outside.” Yes, some companies employ executive coaches who are on their staff, often they are a stable of professionals retained to serve an ongoing need when a company is doing well.

Coaching came into vogue in the mid 90s when the full impact of the newly-launched 360 degree review became growingly popular in the corporate culture. Annual reviews based on the 360 degree instruments typically highlight areas for an employee where they need to grow and increase their value in those areas. Managers typically do not have the time or the skill to help their direct reports to achieve this development. So, companies started hiring coaches to help employees in the specific areas of their needs. Many employees hire their own counselors or coaches to develop themselves, much like a physical trainer or sports coach.

The following guidelines are provided to help you select a coach that you may want to engage in your ongoing development:

1. The best sources of getting names for potential coaches is referrals from someone you know and someone who has shown progress that is visible to you.
2. Have a meeting with yourself and ask yourself introspective questions that articulate your need for development and the areas in which you see the need.
3. Meet with the coach for an initial session and explore their approach, compatibility, and style.
4. Do not sign up for a package deal no matter how much you save by paying in advance. Have a few sessions before you decide.
5. Make sure that the coach has real experience working in the corporate world and has shown career growth, reinventions, and has dealt with challenges that are typical in the corporate world. If they come from recruiting and HR staff or academic backgrounds they are less likely to be effective in what they have to offer.
6. If a coach cannot offer you specific and actionable guidance you are probably talking to a frustrated therapist who could not get their license.
7. If the guidance that you get in your sessions is not working for you, bring it up immediately in the next session and seek a course correction. If things are not working fire the coach and find another one.
8. Seek feedback from your colleagues and check for changes in your own self.
9. If you do not see things changing for yourself do not delude yourself by waiting longer.
10. If you do not respect the coach, you have lost the edge in your relationship and you must move on.

The nurturing component of what we seek is very important to us all. This is what sustains us to keep going and keep on doing more of what we do well. Yet, despite our primordial need for its flow very few take the time or the trouble to understand its significance is our everyday work life. Those involved in our engagement believe that the transactional need filled by the arrangement should be a sufficient expression of their affirmation of our value.

One way to appreciate someone’s efforts and what they have produced is to pause and take a moment to express your appreciation. Timely and appropriate appreciation can be a powerful tonic for anyone, even for those diehards who claim immunity from its charms. Such appreciation can be offered either as a reward, a compliment, or just a few words of praise.

A reward is something tangible given to someone who has recognized their efforts in doing what they have done. It usually has a material aspect to it, although its economic value can vary widely. In its simplest presentation a certificate of appreciation could be reward (“award’). In its most glorified counterpart it could be stock options worth a fortune.

A compliment is an expression directed towards someone who is appreciated for what they have or possess. A complement is either superficial (“you have beautiful eyes!”) or fleeting (‘that was a great hand-off’). Sometimes, a compliment can be disingenuous or it can be delivered to fulfill a hidden agenda. A compliment is a subjective expression of appreciation and is often given in the moment, sometimes spontaneously. Often, when a compliment is genuine, it may need a context without which it can ring hollow. Some people do not know how to acknowledge a compliment and some even may take downright offense, depending on how it is delivered and the mood of the recipient. At other times it could be a means of getting something from its recipient in exchange for its expression. A well-placed and timely compliment can be a charm that can prompt its recipient to often return the favor by giving back to the person giving the compliment what they are looking for. In such cases giving a compliment has mercenary motives. There is nothing wrong with that!

Praise, on the other hand, is specific that has a time element associated with it. It is also based on the effort and its quality for which the person giving the praise shows their appreciation. A well-given praise has magical effect on the person getting it. It also has an equally beneficial effect on the person giving it. It is much like a well-chosen gift given to someone who really appreciates it, except that the gift itself does not have a material quality to it. As Sam Walton said: A well-deserved praise is free, but it can be worth a fortune!”

Using praise appropriately has a dramatic effect on the person at whom the praise is directed. A well-delivered expression of praise can lift someone’s spirits and make them suddenly come alive. This is a neurochemical process, where the brain’s chemical, endorphin, is released, which makes the person experience a feeling of well being at a very deep level. Its opposite is adrenaline, which is released when the person is in fear or is experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety or uneasiness. To witness the power of a well-deserved praise take any random person and catch them when they are feeling down and see how they respond to your words of praise!

The effect of praise is equally potent on the person giving it, if it is given well-deservedly. To see the response of the person getting the praise often has an equally positive effect on the person giving it; this is much like giving a well-thought out gift given to someone you care about.

Yet, we know we must make the change to succeed; sometimes just to survive. Fear is a natural human emotion that surfaces during times of uncertainty and definitely during times of personal change. Fear is, actually, a gift given to us so that, instinctively, we avoid danger. An emotion is triggered by the release of chemicals in our own body. The way we react to fear is by releasing our adrenaline that programs our reaction in a threatening situation. In everyday existence, however, having adrenaline flowing in our bloodstream is not good for us. It makes us behave instinctively and shuts down our reasoning and emotional faculties. The other affect of our carrying adrenaline during times of transition is that those who come in contact with us see this readily and try to stay away from us. Fear also spawns anxiety. This anxiety alone will make others avoid us as it also makes others anxious.

But, why are most of us steeped in fear when we are facing job transitions? One reason is, perhaps, that when there is uncertainty, especially job related, there is angst, which can create fear. Our own self esteem is tied in our job and that creates its own anxiety. But, that is different from fear. Fear deeply affects those who let it run their lives. This, again, creates its own adrenaline rush in you, which others see as someone they want to avoid. Fear is something not kept inside as most think, it is something that is apparent to anyone who sees us; we wear it even without our knowing it. It is much like a strong perfume we wear that we can no longer smell! Fear blocks one’s thinking and power to reason.

Fear surrounding job uncertainty can be managed since it is not instinctive fear. Instinctive fear is a gift that we are given to save our life. It is an internally driven response induced when we know that our life–not our way of life–is threatened, as when someone confronts us with a gun in their hands, or a beast we may encounter at a camp unexpectedly. This instinctive fear puts our body in an automatic mode and impels us to react to it by its primordial response: flight or fight. Instinctive fear is acute and episodic. Even under those life-threatening situations, the outcome is far more desirable when you are able to think rationally and then act, rather than react in panic. The only challenge is getting your mind into the thinking mode. Our response to existential fear, on the other hand, can be chronic, or at least for the duration long enough that lasts the entire transition and even beyond, creating a near-permanent change in us at a cellular level. This is where we must learn to reprogram ourselves to create the best outcome.

During life’s transitions certain approaches we choose to adopt can help us. Recent studies have shown that those with an open mind, positive outlook, intelligent optimism, and without fear are more likely to come out ahead faster in these transitions, than those who retreat, sulk, blame others for their woes, and move in fear. Fear and negativity around a situation can affect our mind by occluding it. An occluded mind is limited in its capacity to perform. Whereas someone who is fully engaged with emotional, mental, and physical resources can deliver so much more! This is why the first requirement in a transition is ridding of the fear factor!

To successfully leverage one’s internal resources and to mobilize untapped potential, becoming aware of the fear factor and overcoming the deepest fears are critical for a speedy transition to success. Remember how they train the race car drivers. Most are fearful of running into the wall and crashing into it. They train them to not look at that wall and focus on the road entirely, instead!

During intense transitions, it is normal to experience anxiety. Intense transitions can be those prompted by a job loss, an impending termination or layoff, or anything that creates uncertainty, which leads to fear as we just discussed. Sometimes, this fear then drives certainty¾the inevitable actually happens–which culminates in dread! During such episodes it is normal to experience sleepless nights, or awaken in the middle of the night in sweat, and then lie awake with eyes wide open, wondering about what is next and finding meaning behind what is going on. In the quiet of the night, all negative thoughts multiply unchecked and create a paralyzing emotion from within. As the situation deteriorates due to a declining economy, personal setbacks, fear of running out of money, and other factors, it creates further anxiety that impairs normal thinking. This is now a vicious cycle and it permeates our daily existence. Its effect is to slowly attack our own self-confidence and our ability to master our own destiny in an insidious and pernicious way. This fear that causes sleepless nights also impairs our daily performance in all that we do to get out of the very situation that creates these nightmares. The best way to deal with this quandary is to recognize that such angst is common to making a change. Holding positive thoughts and painting pictures of envisioned outcomes from these transitions can be good tools to combat these negative forces. Of course, thoughtful and visionary planning, diligent execution, and course correction, as new learning is derived from ongoing efforts, must fortify such positive imagery.

Focusing on planned actions and holding the belief that the universe provides us its lessons through these challenges and that our life is not complete without these lessons is an affirmation that, too, can help us. Such lessons make us confident in our own abilities and are proving grounds for our own inner strength of character and resolve. Accepting defeat in the face of adversity and retreating do not complete the intended lesson; they merely defer it. Additionally, one’s self-confidence and esteem take a beating in this early admission of defeat. Maintaining a regimen, a plan, and diligent execution of the plan are important for success and early positive conclusion of such transitions. So, in summary, for those in job or career transitions the following prescription is offered to deal positively with their fear:

1. A transition is a clarion call for self discovery. Rather than just looking for more of what you did in the past it is an opportunity to rediscover yourself.
2. Rather than writing your resume merely based on what you did in the past (almost all resumes do this), discover who you are and find ways of incorporating that in your new value message.
3. Find your genius, learn how to articulate it, and wrap your value proposition around this. In my practice I call your genius Unique Skills.
4. Learn how to tell your leadership stories in your resume. A resume crafted with just a few such stories is far more intriguing and readable than a one with mere facts and assignments. When you operate within your genius your stories come alive. You also operate without fear narrating such stories.
5. Become aware of your fear. Identify what the source of the fear is and write it down.
6. Analyze the source and break it down into components. Deal with one component at a time and confront its fear-inducing origin. You will realize that the fear itself may be unfounded. Always reach the bottom-line outcome and ask, so what?
7. If you are fearful of a future possibility: foreclosure, bankruptcy, divorce, or loss of assets, ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen as a result. Meanwhile, deal with what you must and execute your action plan as if that possibility is outside the realm. Think positively and hold positive thoughts. Remember: you become what you fear! Constant assault of fearful thoughts can end up reprogramming your body at a cellular level.
8. Learn how to separate negative fantasies from realistic outcomes. The difference between the two is that with the latter you have control over how you deal with them.
9. If you are afraid of an interview with someone very senior as a result of your successes with lower-level interviews, assure yourself that you have made it that far. The best way to handle such an interview is to go with great questions gleaned from preceding interviews. It is far more impactful to have gone with great questions than to have gone with half-baked answers! Take charge of the interview by asking good questions from the start.
10. Be confident, thoughtful, and poised. People will wonder where you get your aplomb from and out of that curiosity they may just hire you to find out for themselves. People run away from the negative and gravitate towards the positive.
11. Always aim for achievement, not success.